shipsnamedenterprise:

*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what

(Source: i-keep-cruising, via sociopath-singer)

392,353 notes

dutchster:

as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them

(via arockettodowntown)

563,305 notes
  • God: *creates the human butt*
  • God: Oh they are gonna love this
214,475 notes
  • person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
  • me: nope
  • person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
  • me: i'm not
325,803 notes